Social Skills and Feelings Education: Turn Your Kids' Favorite Media into Your Best Teaching Tool
By Ellen Mossman-Glazer

These simple single-syllable words: sad, mad, and glad, are the easy first emotion words for children to use in ‘feelings talk’. Then, as they grow, and their every day vocabulary expands, the important job for parents, educators and caregivers, is to help their kids develop the awareness and the more expansive words to be emotionally articulate.

Think of  ‘anger’. In a second you can have escalating conflict on your hands and you’re off and running with the energy drain of mediating and consequencing. Feelings education teaches alternatives. It may not happen every time but an emotionally tuned in child stands a chance of responding to a challenge this way:  “I feel like I am going to burst into a rage, but I know there are people I can go talk to right away.”  

Following is a menu of six fun ways to weave emotional education into your quality parenting time. Choose age and stage appropriate activities. What delights your little ones, may totally turn off your teens. The objective of these activities is to help them recognize a range of feelings in others and eventually, in themselves as well. For downloadable feelings face graphics which you can use as visual props, see the bottom of this article. 

1. Early childhood storybooks. When reading picture books with young children, help them scan the illustrations for emotion. Dramatize the story by weaving in feeling words: “The wolf was seething with frustration when he could not get into the house.”  

2. TV shows. Join them to watch, without judgment. Initiate discussion about characters and events. Attach interesting ‘feeling words’ to their observations. A ‘perplexing’ problem. A ‘moody’ friend. An ‘inspiring’ teacher. An ‘annoying’ classmate. A ‘monotonous’ story. Ask questions like “What would you feel?” 

3. Film and video games. Catch the character’s body language cues: eyes wide, frowning, hands on hips. Provide a menu of emotion words, for example impatient, amazed, embarrassed. 

4. Print publications. Create picture collections of real life situations that portray one emotion. For example, for the emotion proud, collect pictures of faces and events that depict pride and proud moments. When working with younger children or individuals with Asperger Syndrome or Autism, start with one emotion word and build, spending lots of time working with the 'visuals' of each emotion. This is a terrific way to spend time with your child in an ongoing project, organizing the images on index cards or in a scrapbook. Create activities: categorize, role-play, rate the feelings for intensity, make up silly stories. Ask lots of reflection type questions. Be imaginative! 

5. Drama games. Make a list of feeling words and their corresponding body language and facial expressions. Be the characters. Be dramatic. Be silly. Exaggerate to make the point! This is a good exercise with children and young adults who have High Functioning Autism or Asperger Syndrome because they need explicit instruction in how to ‘read’ people’s faces and behaviors. Help them see the nuances of a single emotion. 

6. Music. Listen and catch the moods. Imagine what the music is trying to communicate. Identify what that would look like if it had a facial expression. Be creative with the wonderful potential of music. 

For a good graphic guide of our many emotions, go to www.feelingfaces.com Keep the feeling words rolling out, and have fun! 

About The Author: Ellen Mossman-Glazer M.Ed. is a Life Skills Coach and Behavioral Specialist, specializing in Asperger Syndrome, High Functioning Autism, ADHD, and learning difficulties. Over her 20 years in special education classrooms and  treatment settings, Ellen has seen the struggle that children and adults have when they feel they don't fit in. She now works in private practice with people across the USA and Canada, by phone, teleconference groups and email, helping parents, educators, caregivers and their challenging loved ones, to find their own specific steps and tools to thrive. 

Ellen is the author of two on line e-zines, Emotion Matters: Tools and Tips for Working with Feelings and Social Skills: The Micro Steps. Subscribe for free and see more about Ellen at http://artofbehaviorchange.com/ You can take a free mini assessment which Ellen will reply to with your first action step.

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